The Untamed Heart
Posted on March 5, 2008
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I’ve often wondered why this organ, the core of our being reacts so to our inner most feelings and desires. Is the heart where love is generated from or does our mind generate love? There is the old saying about following your head not your heart. Is it better to let your head make the decisions or follow your heart?
I recently lost my sister to cancer; I love her very dearly and miss talking with her. We all will experience grief in some way during our life. The loss of a dear one or maybe the loss of a lover, suffering is an inherent human trait and thus the popular term “a broken heart”.
Our emotions play a large part in the health of our heart. Unresolved emotional and spiritual issues, such as a broken heart, depression, anger or a lack of fulfillment, can physically affect your heart. Clinical studies have found stress can increase cholesterol and high blood pressure just as we know that relaxation can reduce them (that is if they are caused by stress).
I was at a children’s soccer game the other day. It was a perfect sunny day, families were buzzing around getting ready for the game, there was lots happening, the energy was abundant. I love people watching! it brings me joy to see happy faces and a giggle to watch family dramas unfolding - “ouch” as dad trips over that stick and quickly looks to see if no-one was watching. The toddler throwing a tantrum because they can’t have an ice-block yet and the sight of Mum walking calmly ahead knowing it will all be forgotten when the next thing catches their attention. The two little boys aged around seven with mischievous looks on their faces scampering under the grandstand to get up to who knows what.
The game begins, people are shouting words of encouragement, little legs are pelting from one end of the soccer field to the other. The ball’s not really going in the right direction, but heh, they’re partaking in the physical activity and developing important motor and team skills and having fun! what more can we ask? “watch out you little sh***” roars a mother sitting beside me. What a fright, I nearly fell backwards off my seat. The lady then bounds over a couple of seats, arms waving and shouting obscenities out onto the field. Her big behind wobbling with every gesture she makes. Some poor little mite that obviously is her son shrinks as mum barges across the field and bails up another poor little mite that must have been the offender in her mind. Here comes the ref, the other mum and the coach to sort it all out. The ref gestured for her to walk out to the side line to discuss the predicament. Before I knew it she was down on one knee clinging to her chest, refs gesturing for help and people are running to her aid.
Unfortunately the lady had a heart attack. I’m sure she must have had some pre-existing condition however it made me think about the circumstances leading to her attack - her outburst of emotion. Was her heart totally free to express any feeling it wished whether it be joy or anger and was this ok even though with the latter it hurt others feelings? Is this an example of what has been referred to as the “untamed heart” (Anguttara Nikaya). Does such a heart bring suffering as others can be hurt in the process? If so, the untamed heart is therefore indeed intractable.
So does a tamed, controlled, attended and restrained heart therefore bring joy? Certainly to others, but what about yourself? Negative emotions can take a heavy toll on the heart. Did you know that men under intense psychological stress are six times more likely to die of sudden heart failure than other, calmer men? In such cases, anxiety may well be the cause of sudden cardiac arrest.
Our heart is not just the core of our heart and love connection it is the core of all our emotions. The ancients recognized this relationship long ago. We all recognize the emotional connection we have with out hearts. Look at how many expressions we use - “my heart nearly jumped up into my throat”, “My love for you is tearing my heart apart”, “bless your dearest heart”, “my heart bleeds for you” etc.
When something medically goes wrong with our heart we only focus on the medical diagnoses and treatment. What about the other side of our heart, the side the emotions quite obviously affect so easily? We know when we see someone we are attracted to, it can physically increase our heart beat, a direct consequence of the emotion we have felt. Negative emotions can also have a direct increase in our heart beat as with the woman in this story. Loneliness can cause damage to our hearts. Did you know that heart attack patients who live alone are twice as likely to have another attack within six months as patients who live with a partner?
How do we then “tame” our heart? Make it strong and resilient to negative emotions, however still capable of showing compassion and love for ourselves and others? This is where I look to the East. There is an abundance of information that has been passed down through the ages that we can tap into and one of those is the practice of meditation.
There are many ways to meditate but a basic one for the beginner is just to sit in a quiet place with your eyes closed. Focus on your breathing and the rhythm of your breath, try slowing it slightly. When you are relaxed notice the time between each inhalation and exhalation but do not hold onto the thought, recognize it and let it go. Thoughts will pop into your mind, but don’t follow them, acknowledge them and let them go. If you find this difficult, go back to the breath and just follow the rhythm of the breath.
To still the mind through the practice of meditation is hard for the beginner at first, don’t despair, over time it will become easier and with practice you will learn to acknowledge your emotions without being “attached” to them. A negative emotion may arise but not consume you. A tamed heart is therefore indeed a good heart.
Lisa runs “Khata” supplies “gifts of significance” for those special people in your life that have an interest in Eastern Arts , philosophy and culture.
She believes that utilising physical movement to understand about your body and self is a powerful tool for” self development”. She also supports and promotes the various forms of physical exercise and movement in eastern culture such as Tai Chi, QiGong, Yoga and Martial Arts. You will find lots of articles of interest on her “articles” page in these areas a: http://www.khata.com.au
Article Author :Lisa_Dunsdon
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