Making life worth living…
Posted on February 22, 2008
» Filed Under Health Forum |
What motivates you to keep onliving…What helps you not pull thattrigger/Jump off that chair/Pop thospills…?
marvel:
What I already have and the potential ofwhat is to come.
Even when I was at my absolute saddest, Iknew that I still had my family who lovedme, and I knew, deep down inside, that ifI got my depression under control, therewas vast potential for me to do somethingwith my life. Knowing that there issomething up on the road ahead has kept mealive many times.
bakin_april:
My daughter. I’d made some bad choices asher mother and I think my suicide would bethe last straw for her and she may do thesame.
My mother. We’re very, very close (shehas major depression, too) and I think mysuicide would devastate her.
Me. (Took years to believe this.) Ibelieve we’re all here for a reason and Ihadn’t discovered mine yet.
mominashoe:
I’m a Catholic, so the main reason is thatI know I’d go straight to hell if I did athing like that. Then I have 6 kids wholove me. The reason why they aren’t firstis because many times they are the sourceof my depression and all I want to do isget away from them for a break!
April, I am so proud of the fact that youhave realized that you yourself are a goodenough reason to stay around
Seraph:
What I have…
A dad, who’s first reaction when hevisited me in the hospital, after I had amajor dislocation of my left knee andwould be “out of service” for almost twomonths, was “What about your job?!”…not”Jees son, are you in a lot of pain?…Isthere something I can do for you?”. Likeas if it was my fault that I was born withscrewed up knees??!?!?!!
A mom, whom would most probably alsocommit cuicide as she also suffers fromdepression.
Fear…
I am Christian, although I am in theReformed Church, it’s still a sin tocommit suicide but when I’m in the badplace, it doesn’t seem to matter. Realitydoes not register and concepts such asHell seems vague and meaningless…All Iwant to do at that point is escape thislife and slip into oblivion…
My self…
Ummm…yea… April, you go girl!…me,I’m worthless…
So in the end…
The only thing that is keeping me fromdoing “IT” is the guilt over my mom’ssuffering or even suicide…the rest…itjust don’t seem to matter.
SeraphP.S:
I’m going to make an appointmentwith my shrink, for a re-eval, as thepills don’t seem to work any more…evenmy parents say that they can see it’s notworking any more…
bakin_april:
My parents did the same thing. I had awreck and they came in and said they hadto go because Mom had to catch a flight. People often don’t think about how theiractions affect us and how strong words areto us.
I totally agree with you about when you’rein the deepest state of depression youdon’t care about the ramifications ofsuicide or anything else. Please rememberfrom one who’s lived there too that thefeelings end and you’ll go on a strongerperson for it. I’m not saying sufferingis good, but I believe it makes usstronger each time we endure it.
You do have worth as a human being. Ihave no doubt there’s something for me tolearn from your postings. Someone elsemay come along and decide not to act ontheir suicidal thoughts or to see apsychiatrist because of what you writehere.
Did you make your appointment? I hope youcan get in soon so the adjustment can bemade to your meds. Let me know how itgoes.
PM if you need someone to talk to.
Seraph:
My shrink is rather busy, so I was onlyable to get an appntmnt for the 4th ofMarch.
Another thing that I have noticed is thatI am starting to “babble” again. I don’tknow how to explain it or if anyone hashad experience like this but it seems likewhen I get frustrated, anxious or nervousI would talk “gibberish” out loud. It’s abit embarrising…cus it’s just plainnonsense spewing from my mouth.
It’s jut a phrase of non-sensical,non-existing words…
Thanks for the support tho. It does help,even if it’s just for a short reprieve, totalk about things.
mominashoe:
| Seraphwrote: |
I did that once….I made up my ownlanguage and couldn’t stop talking. I wasseverely depressed and very drunk (butthat was the first and last time on thedrunk part lol.)
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